“Decidedly because, changes what was”
This is a great TED talk from a great speaker. A caveat I did grow up with Janine Driver, but I thought the talk was really spot on and explored some of the unique dynamics on some common words we often use so I thought I would share it.
Janine is a sought after speaker and consultant. She worked for the ATF for a number of years and is now a body language expert and can often be seen on major national broadcasts like the Today Show.
She begins with the analogy of the paper ketchup cup. Did you know that it can expand to 3 times the normal size? (I didn’t know that.) Then she uses this as a great metaphor for hidden potential and how that’s her job. Companies hire her to find out how to tap into their employee potential.
She leads us to the question of where is that potential? It could be both inside of you personally and untapped in your career? And then where is the potential in any situation or negotiation? The lesson is that the words we use tend to control what we get.
But it’s very often the words others use that control what we truly get. “We Decided to…Normally we don’t….Usually you have to wait….Generally it takes a while….”
The idea is that these words “decided and the ly words” are barriers to getting what we want. Decided doesn’t really mean anything. It’s like “I said so,” or “We said so.” It doesn’t really mean something is definite or final. It’s a little like “I think.”
Janine calls these words (decided and ly adverbs) Wiggle Words and shows how we can use the word “Because” to open the door just enough to get what want. “I deserve a raise because I launched a successful product….because I helped to improve revenue….because I landed the big client.”
It’s at these times we need to see the opportunities and then carefully leverage the reasons why we want something and can go after our potential.
“Decidedly because, changes what was”
thank you Janine!